A “Tom Swiftie” is an expression derived from the character Tom Swift. It was said that, in his stories, nobody ever just “said” anything; the word “said” had to be either modified by an adverb or replaced by a more expressive verb. The game of creating “Tom Swifties” originated, as far as I know, in the 50’s or 60’s, and the idea is to relate what is said and the way it is said through one or more puns. Like all such figure-of-speech related humour, the result can be highly variable, from very funny to downright excruciating. However, I just post them, I do not presume to judge.

Heard about the Niven Light-Bulb jokes?

"We might have to land on Kzin", said Bey cattily. [Ted Scribner]

"Let's try to get to Sirius" replied Elephant doggedly. [Ted Scribner]

"Plateau is the only place worthy," Bey said loftily. [Matthew Dockrey]

"I give up, let's just head for Down, said Elephant groggily. [Matthew Dockrey]

"Why, no madam, I didn't just caress your left buttock," was Gil's disarming reply. [Andrew Duncan]

"I guess a neutron star has a lot of mass", said Beowulf densely. [Benjamin Scott]

"I guess that solves the problem", said Beowulf tidily. [Martin DeMello]

"I don't want to go to Jinx again" said the Arm agent heavily. [vxpmrz3]

"The kzinti have a base 8 numbering system. Unlike us", said Louis decadently. [Ted Scribner]

"After all, there were two years to fill, and Margo was lovely", said Bey stiffly. [Ted Scribner, using an actual quote from "Grendel"]

"He's thinking about raw carrots again," the Kzinti telepath complained bitterly. [Peter Taylor]

"I used to be chief pilot for Nakamura Lines", Shaeffer explained. [Abraham Thomas]

"What do you *think* the holo shows?!" said Shaeffer excoriatingly. [Martin DeMello]

"I'm going to land on that planet" Elephant trumpeted, anti-matter-of- factly. [Andrew Love]

"Don't smoke those; they're bad for you" said Brennan, protectively. [Andrew Love]

"With the Quantum II drive, the Kzinti empire can conquer Earth" Speaker said, worshipfully. [Andrew Love]

As the shot glass lifted in the air by itself, Gil said "Look no hands" disarmingly. [Andrew Love]

"It's an Artifact!" Louis declaimed ringingly. [Frank Gasperik]

"It looks like an Outsider drive", said Louis Wu, reactionlessly. [Abraham Thomas]

"Take the prisoner downstairs", growled Chuft-Captain, condescendingly. [Frank Mango]

"We're experimenting in a gravity well", Mr. Niven explained massively. [Frank Gasperik]

"My ancestor invented the transfer booth", Elephant beamed. [Benjamin Scott]

"My great grandfather struck oil" Larry gushed. [Ted Scribner]

"The core is exploding!", Bey said brightly. [Benjamin Scott]

"That's the Corpsicle question", stated Gil stiffly. [Frank Gasperik]

"There's something strange about the electrons which make up that planet", said Elephant, positively. [Gordon Davie]

"Don't go too near the cliff," said Matt Keller, edgily. [Gordon Davie]

"We're standing on Beta Lyrae I!" said Anne-Marie Papandreou, right on Cue. [Gordon Davie]

"Look at that ring!" tossed out Louis. [Ernest Cline]

"It's a pit for throwing dead bodies into," said Henry Bedrosian, gravely. [Gordon Davie]

"I love working here at the Park", Alex Griffin said dreamily. [Joseph Troutman]

"Couldn't find an autodoc my size", Bey said shortly. [Martin DeMello]

"The humanoids here don't realize their world is a ring", said Louis archly. [Frank Mango]

"Of course it's a defensive maneuver", said Nessus, reflexively. [Frank Mango]

"Maybe we shouldn't have destroyed that sunflower field," Louis reflected. [Matt Grimaldi]

"I let Prill down," said Louis baldly. [Jesus X]

"That coffee's horrible!" Horace spat bitterly. [Jesus X]

"I love King's Free Park," said Jill openly.[Jesus X]

"In this needle is medicine, antibiotics, that will make you feel better," said Proxmire sharply.

"How did you know I was sick?" coughed Heinlein.[Jesus X]